Yes, it's like the titles says.
2018 is being a year of all kind of surprises and barely give us time to recover before the new one. I'm speaking about either good or bad, but mostly bad.
I'm talking about people, how they can fool us for such a long time and when you're least expecting they stab one or more knives on your back. This cruelty from our current selfish and crazy society changes us to a more cold, calculating and closed people. Each individual think only about themselves, they doesn't respect you, they judge you with lies to hide their disgusting personality, who think that you're the cause of their problems when in reality they're their own core problem, and to the least but not the last, they never try to understand what others feel before spilling out rumors without proves to justify their ridiculous behaviors.
I'm tired of this...really tired...
As such, this naivety, shy and honest, kindly person like me came to a final conclusion this month, a conclusion that I've been meditating during this weekend. After all I entered in a war where I have to win anyway, and I will win, of course not alone, as I do have people who loves me the way I am and believe on what I say because I do have proofs which underpin my critics and actions. Therefore I must prepare myself psychologically for it because when is enough for me, it's really enough. Being stupid and letting my head go down to shut up and avoid conflicts by preferring to hurt myself instead of hurting others in the end, is over! I'll start to be cruel and unleash the bad side of me to those who doesn't deserve my good side because I have to protect myself and my loved ones first before others, but principally my own soul and my own stability.
Never say that you won't do one thing or another in your life just because you think is incorrect! When you least expect it, you have no choice but to practice it to protect your own life from evil people, your future goal from selfish/jealous people and the ones around you that truly trusts you, loves you, recognizes you, who is considerate of your feelings and work capacities from general society.
I'm still afraid of many things because my life is changing quickly, obligating myself to make fast decisions, but I have to confront the reality, after all what human being hasn't done yet or felt this way? Honestly these are the cases where you find one of the most incredible features about yourself which is: "you'll surprise yourself when you see that you're stronger than what you thought you were or that you would be!" And these lessons makes you look to this world differently from what you were used before.
Unfortunately I learned that we can't be friends of everyone since there will be always people who's jealous of what you have, of who you are, of your talent and professional capacity and even from your value to others. You can't also change people to the ideal of what you always desired. Accept them, don't idolize them, don't hide your true self nor shut yourself when you see the other person is acting dishonestly or wrong. Confront your fears, the people who wish you bad, the wars and battles that people give to you, and above all, be also a good selfish person who fights for a personal future and their happiness, valuing those who wants to definitely stay by your side and destroying those who hurts you through the road, till you die.
To conclude I must say that this is who I really am right now, so thank you for reading thus far. Take care!